To fight for idea, not having your own idea, is extremely difficult

School essay; I never write them following the actual subject, but I hope you’ll understand


To read my first diaries for me – like parody of a horror movie. Not a single clever idea – and if there is one, it’s copied from somewhere else. (Also yesterday I remembered a poem I composed in about 1st grade, and almost cried from shame.) My thoughts make up in diary with a view from New York (I am definetely sure there was my metamorphosis of April `07), and, remembering March of the same year, tears fill my eyes (of nostalgia), because I started listening to a band which changed my life (though I flinch no more hearing the name). In the summer of the same year I read “The world according to Garp” (I choose by the cover). Then my life got an idea – I didn’t know what then, but it was an idea. If Green Day and Irving taught me something, it was to have my own opinion and not change it because somebody didn’t like it. In my diary (with a cup of coffee, though I don’t like coffee) appear clever thoughts – “the one who has no enemies has no friends”, “just dead fish swim downstream” and “want to avoid critic – do nothing, say nothing, and you will be nothing”. Firstly I didn’t have an idea – I just knew I want to do something different. Paulo Coelho in his book “Fifth mountain” has written: “Everybody can have doubts about his calling and sometimes not follow it; the only thing one can’t do – it’s to forget it. Bless everyone, who had uncertain moments”. There are holes in everyone’s path; some walk them around, some fall into them, but you have to build a bridge.