When I came home from school I went to my laptop immediately and – yes! – there was a letter from Roy. I started to read while taking my shoes off.
To: Porcelain_Doll
From: PunkRockHurricane
OK! I’ve already told my father, he said he would try to sign me up for that school. I think it would be fun to go to the same school you do.
We have to move in during next two weeks. I hope mine and my sister’s rooms aren’t separated only by a wall. If I have to listed to that so-called music for a while my ears will shrink and look like dried plums.
I’ll give you my address when I know it. Maybe if you have no plans, I could see you next week? I’d like to see you when I come. Also, I’ll feel lost in a new town :)
I laughed. Of course I didn’t have plans. I never had plans… dead people can wait. And now it’s too cold to go outside. I have weak immunity, I am often ill. I had pneumonia last year because of my wanderings in the graveyard. I’d rather wait for the spring.
I took one of my porcelain dolls. The one which looked a lot like my grandmother Elsie. I touched the eyes. They were blue. I don’t know what color my grandmother’s eyes were. In photographs I can only see they were light. I have never asked my grandfather about her eyes.
I put the doll on a table and wrote a letter for Roy. I thought it looked unusual – a porcelain doll and a laptop. I took it again and went to the window. It was snowing. I liked this weather. Snowflakes are beautiful. The forest can be seen through my window. It looks beautiful in winter especially. Sometimes I think I’d like to have a camera to take pictures of all that beauty. Mother from time to time yells that I should find a hobby. Well, buy me a camera, and I will have one. Zygimantas has got a camera; I saw his gallery of photographs on the Internet. He can photograph for real. He knows a lot about light and such things. Once he told me that if I mix red, orange, yellow, green, light blue, blue and purple colors I will get white. I tried, but I got gray. He told me the colors must be clear, like in the rainbow. When I asked, why, he started explaining something about prisms and spectrums, but I was too stupid to understand. Maybe I ought to ask him to explain it again to me and now I will write it down so that I could translate it into Lithuanian. But first of all I need a camera.
Two days later Roy wrote to me saying he was accepted into my school. “They said it’s only because of my good marks,” he wrote, “because it’s already packed with pupils. If I were an average student I would have needed to go to another school”.
I felt guilty. I go to a good school and I don’t give a damn about my marks. And I’m not alone; because of pupils like me more deserving pupils like Roy have to attend average schools…
I felt like falling into tears again.
A week later he wrote he’s coming the next day. I could hardly stay still. This time Roy has sent letter 4a.m.; he wrote he again couldn’t sleep. I prepared for school too quickly and went out too early.
I sat on the windowsill near Math class and put my forehead against the window. There was no one in the corridor except for me. I was thinking tomorrow after lessons I will finally meet Roy. He has invited me to come to his house; he had given me the address. I said I could run away from classes but he said it isn’t necessary.
Soon other people started to appear. Today we had Math near where 11th-graders were having theirs. I thought that if Roy happened to be in that group we could have some mutual breaks we could spend together. He may even explain to me some subjects I don’t understand. If I am so eager to study I must be truly obsessed by this thought of having a friend.
I was so lost in my thoughts that at first I didn’t understand what two girls clothes-hangers were discussing. They were talking about a newcomer. I was caught by a strange form of happiness when I thought I know that newcomer. For a moment I wanted to cut in and tell them about him, but I changed my mind. Like Zygimantas says – if you are obsessed by a will to work, sit down for a while, it will pass.
They giggled, and giggled, and giggled. Normal people would have had a proper conversation using every fifth word they said. They made predictions regarding Roy. They’d expected him to be tall and muscular; nothing of his kind. Roy was middle heighted and slim, though he said he could defend himself if necessary (and break some bones). I nearly laughed when I imagined the girl’s expressions on their faces when they see Roy. I bet he doesn’t look like their Prince Charming. I wasn’t surprised to hear one of them saying she would dump her boyfriend if Roy (“that newcomer”) would teach her Math. “My parents would pay for me to take the Medicine school course, but you can’t buy a Math exam…” If a bitch like that ever becomes a doctor, I’d rather go straight to the morgue instead of a hospital.
Then some guys went to them, one (who after my joke about his attraction to corpses can’t look at me) sang “Salud, babes!” and sat down between them. I thought I need to warn Roy about his would-be classmates.
My classmates, though they aren’t very supportive, I couldn’t hope for better. Because nothing in my life rises above good lath, I shouldn’t ask for more. At least no one blames me for missing lessons which is good.
When I came back home and checked my e-mail I saw a letter from Roy confirming he arrives tomorrow after lunch. Something swarmed in my chest; I thought for the first time in my life I’m happy as a living person.
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